For All Those Times You Stood By Me

I never thought losing someone so important in life would lead to a low self-esteem. It sucks and hurts so much listening to other people's stories. They complain that the parents do this and that. And I would speak very silently to myself, "At least you have one to complain about."

The feeling is killing me. It never gets better.

I am all handicapped now. It's almost literally like walking with a foot. Though I may seem okay on the surface, I actually take offense everytime you mention about it. :'(

Legally Blonde

Probably, instead of flattering me with how much money a lawyer can make, why don't you enlighten me with how much work they are burdened with? How little time they spend with the loved ones?

Is that your other way of telling me to quit what I'm doing and practise law?

Lazybumps

Call me orthodox, any name you'd like to. But it's a pain in the ass having lazybumps around. Especially when the person admits how lazy and how rare he/she does the house chores.

I can't proceed with my writing as I was too pissed off. Emo much? Yeah, probably.

Bluerghhh

I'm not sure myself, why is it lately that I no longer feel that strong towards him. As a matter of fact, hatred is more it is. I'd find faults in everything that he does.

I hope I ain't under the influence anything or anyone. Though he's getting annoying from day to day.

Happy Man

I want you to be the happiest lad on earth. Forever.

I'm giving it a second thought.

Baja

Surprisingly, ia seperti tahi yang menjadi baja.

Lagi tidak menyenangkan baunya, lagi ia menggalakkan pertumbuhan.

Blessings

I've learnt long ago not to regret anything done. By long ago I meant really really long ago. Probably more than a decade ago.

I have always believed that there's a blessing in a disguise, and everything happens for a reason.

Thus I think I seldom (just to be on the safe side) feel sorry for anything. I'll try to be redha and find the blessings. Even it's really hard.

Lewat Penat

Malam tadi tidur sangat lewat. Pagi ini bangun macam sangat penat.

*yawn*

Reiterating

Dear partner in crime,

Please tell SOMEONE out there that I don't fake expression. Erm, at least I don't know how to.

Thanks babe.

Teringat

Eh eh, macam ni.

Haritu awak kata "tak berbaloi  bagitahu mak" dan saya diam tanpa menempelak. Hari itu ialah 4 Januari.

Biar saya mentafsir di sini. Awak boleh cakap begitu yang bermaksud pemikiran awak tentang saya berubah.

Kemudian saya tulis di situ begitu salah pula?

Wah! ADIL.

Thanks :)

Terlupa

Eh baru perasan.

Kalau ada entri baru selepas 4 Januari tu kan mesti benda ni tak jadi? Sebab tak ada masa nak update perasaan kat sini kan.

Tapi Tuhan tahu lah buat kerja dia, kan?

Tapi tak penat ke mentafsir ye?

Kalau saya, saya penat. Tapi, itu kalau sayalah.

I'm in no position to justify myself. Tu pun kerja yang memenatkan juga. Penat sangat.

Tapi biarlah. Emosi manusia ni selalu berubah. Awak sama, saya pun sama.

So yeah.

Abode

This, I presume, is no longer that safe abode I call home anymore. Isn't any longer the place to spill my thoughts freely without having anyone deliver judgments towards me.

I feel condemned to even feel what I wish for. I feel that I have no rights to think or feel what I want. I have no rights to even live my life the way I want.

This is no longer the abode where I find serenity in life and tranquility of mind. Where I pick as an escapade to the messiness out there.

I am a pretty messy girl and I don't intend to welcome anymore messiness.

I don't like being judged and questioned of every single act. I'm ALMOST as carefree as I am. Wouldn't it be wonderful if some people have faith and respect my wills?

All I want in life is happiness. And I have my way to seek for one.

Hi to You!

Tahniah sebab jumpa blog ni.

Selamat mentafsir setiap bait kata di sini.

Selamat memusnahkan privasi saya. :)

Kerja Tuhan

Sekarang saya nampak kenapa saya bersama Superman dan bukan Batman. Yes I still feel strongly towards Batman but love alone doesn't suffice. Yes Superman isn't as romantic and sweet as Batman but what he has is faith in me.

Sekarang I dah salah perkiraan kerana terlalu mengikut perasaan. Dan I kena buat keputusan yang rasional.

Betullah, semua yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Tuhan tahulah kerja yang dilakukannya. Kita jangan persoalkan lagi.

Ya rabbi, ampunkan aku.

Bilangan Kawan Yang Tidak Konsisten

I ramai kawan lelaki, sebab I lebih senang berkawan dengan mereka. Tiada hard feelings melampau, tiada girl fight dan sebagainya. Banyak juga remarks yang I terima yang menyatakan betapa sempoinya I ni mengalahkan kaum Adam. Mungkin sebab banyak berkawan dengan kaum itulah agaknya.

Nak dijadikan cerita, bilangan kawan-kawan lelaki I ni selalunya inconsistent. I ni bila rapat dengan orang, I jadi caring sangat, boleh berkongsi cerita dan sebagainya. But it ends there. Maksudnya tidak terbawa ke mimpi dan sebagainya. Sebab tiada perasaan romantik pun yang I semaikan dalam hati terhadap mereka.

Isu inconsistency ini timbul setelah sesetengah mereka ini mula mempunyai girlfriend. Samada girlfriend masing-masing jealous dengan persahabatan kami atau lelaki itu yang insecure berkawan dengan I, takut girlfriend jealous.

Probably it has something to do with the way I maneuver the camaraderie. So gadis-gadis mereka rasa terancam. Maka I makin kurang kawan yang rapat.

Yang menariknya apabila mereka ini break up, lelaki-lelaki ini kembali rapat dengan I. Sebab selesa berkawan dengan I. Though I tak dapat melarikan diri daripada berasa dipergunakan, I malas ambil pusing dan merajuk macam kura-kura. Kau nak kawan, kau kawanlah.

Wahai cik gadis-gadis, I nilah orang terakhir you patut rasa terancam. Sebab I ni gemuk dan tak cantik. Cuma I bijak dan bubbly. So you tak perlu tambah bedak di wajah.

Less

I think I'd rather be less cuddled than being less trusted.