Ruang Kosong

Hello awak.

Malam tadi dengan pagi ni kita rindu awak sangat-sangat. Kita tahu awak susah nak recover. Like I said I've been there in your shoes before. Time will heal trust me honey. But you oughtta be strong, keep pushing yourself forward.

I don't know whether you're going to read this or not. But Imma write this here anyway.

I'd be lying if I said there's no feelings left. Eight years, hun, eight long years. Tipu sungguh kalau sikit perasaan pun tak ada.

Tapi perasaan sayang, cinta, kasih tu tak bawa ke mana kalau tak ada persefahaman, ada curiga, ada perkara-perkara yang menyebabkan kita (berdua) tak selesa dengan hubungan tu.

It's hard to say this, but cinta kan tak semestinya memiliki?

Deep inside I always hope there's a better girl out there, coming from somewhere to mend your broken heart and give you an everlasting happiness. I know I'd be jealous of her for having the most wonderful man on earth, not to mention the most handsome too. But I reckon I must really be happy to see your laughter again.

Remember that big tooth of yours I really love seeing? :) I wish to see it again when you laugh some day.

So far I'm firm with what I've decided. There's too many complications in us both. Relationship should be simple, unlike ours.

I don't know how to reach you now. But I guess when the time is right, we'll be meeting again. I'm restraining myself to contact you. No matter how good it feels talking to you, if it makes you shatter I'd back down.

I miss you a lot, and I still love you.

You

If you cannot handle me at my worst, you definitely don't deserve to be with me.

Mark my words.

Quote

"Sometimes we go back to people because we realize how impossible it is to live without them."

-MHAH

Sampai Hati

Awak ajar saya macam-macam dari awal hubungan kita.

Awak ajar saya tentang pentingnya melayan antara satu sama lain dengan cara yang lain untuk menunjukkan kita istimewa.
Awak ajar saya bersabar dalam hubungan.
Awak ajar saya hormat mana-mana perkara yang kita tidak suka, walaupun perkara itu mungkin remeh.

Tapi hari ini perasaan saya ditolak mentah-mentah.
Hari ini saya diherdik, dimaki.
Hari ini saya dicaci, dilayan kasar.

Mana pergi semua yang awak ajarkan?

Saya tak tahu hendak berasa apa.

Avoid

I know you have stopped reading, and trying to stop caring.
I know how painful it must be for you, as seeing you hurt hurts me too.

It's raining very heavily outside, and I'm crying pretty hard too right now.

This blog has turned out to be the other way around. It wasn't supposed to be sappy, it was supposed to be a cheerful bubbly one.

It wasn't supposed to be filled with our stories. It was supposed to be my other stories.

As for now, honestly speaking, I don't know what to do.

I can only wish something happens, and that something can help me decide. Wishful thinking.

Duhai kasihku yang satu,

Api usah dibalas api
Kelak bukan saja membakar diri
Menjadi abu menyemat benci

Duhai kasihku yang satu,

Api harus disimbah air
Semudah itu.

I Love You But It Aint Gonna Work

There's only one thing I learnt to understand the hard way about our relationshp: it's not going to work.

No matter how compatible we are, how lovingly in love are we, how inseparable we are - these aren't going to help.

You, with your ideology that is totally in contrast with me.

I still love you very dearly. And there's no way I can live a second without thinking of you.