Antidote

Thought I've found an antidote. It turns out to be a mere painkiller.

The cancer now spreads again. The kind of disease I don't mind suffering from.

Saya Sudah Hilang Taring

Baby, you're right. Well, partly.

I ain't week when it comes to love.

I'm only week when it's about you.


Kenapa susah sangat macam ni? Sedihnya.

I want to grow old with you and practise all stupid rituals daily.

Jangan Pergi Dengan Orang Lain

"OMG awak! Bestnya makan dekat sini! Kenapa kita tak tahu tentang kewujudan tempat makan ni?"

"Sebenarnya kita dah lama nak bawa awak makan kat sini masa kita couple dulu. Tapi tak sempat... sebab kita dah..."

"...dah break up?"

*both burst into laughter*

"Tapi awak kena janji, awak tak boleh datang makan dengan Superman kat sini."

Oh?


*

"Awak, jom pergi bungee jumping!"

"Kat Malaysia ni ada bungee jumping ke?"

"Ada."

"Kat mana?"

"Tak boleh bagitahu. Nanti awak pergi dengan Superman. Kalau nak pergi, pergi dengan kita saja."

Singkapan Kisah Semalam

"Kalau suatu hari nanti kita ditakdirkan untuk tidak bersama, kita mesti curang terhadap pasangan kita. Sekurang-kurangnya, curang hati. Sebab cinta kita, hanya untuk awak seorang."

-2004

Tell me about it, my love. After years of separation, parts of my heart are still held close to yours. It's hard to stop loving.

And now you're making it even harder. I wish you didn't tell me that you wanted me back. I wish you were as ruthless as before, that it's easier to stop caring anymore. But you've changed over time. And I wish you're less caring than before. But that, has never changed in you.

I wish life isn't this hard. I'm sorry, but I do still love you... dearly.

Chickenshit

The truth is I'm a chickenshit.

I am coward enough to face the things I dread facing. Like reminiscing the old days with the gone ones. Like being told off with what I've done wrong. Like listening to remarks people make about me. Like watching a sad ending movie. Like reading about the life in the hereafter.

I just hate being vulnerable and letting myself being overwhelmed with vulnerability.

In short, I am a cowardice. I don't have enough guts to hurt my own self.

A Zero Master

Previously I used to admire and idolise those with Master Degree and Doctorate. But I perceive differently today.

Pardon me but I no longer see these holders as intellectual enough nowadays. Firstly, anyone with money can pursue their higher education be it domestically or abroad. I have friends whose results are as average as mine now undergoing their postgrad studies in Europe. Because they have the means to.

Secondly, some people are book smart per se. They suck in interpersonal skill, they have zero general knowledge, they're lousy at public speaking or at least making a good speech, their English proficiency is below average and the list goes on. From what I see, that makes you a post graduate with nothing but a piece of certificate. Not to mention having no ability to write their thesis well. You either hire people to write for you or, the most popular method; plagiarism.

I've been to a convention with around 40 other post graduate students whom on surface at a glance, didn't look like one (except for some). Second, they were as quiet as a stone during the seminars most probably due to their weak English mastery or they're just as lame. Some even snored during the session! You could see the same persons repeatedly asked questions and that includes me!

I could also see they even baby talk in Facebook. Something I didn't see coming from a 25-year-old master student. In my view, some of these people decided to pursue with such degree because they had nothing else to do, or they don't know what else to do, because they think that they don't even deserve to be working for their oh-so-many-flaws.

Just so you know, I didn't do my master by choice. Because I know my direction. And most importantly, I know the fact that I'm so much better than the abovementioned persons.

Racist Blonde

In the car searching for a parking space.

Moi: Tu tengok orang tu. Yang blonde tu.

Partner in Crime: *looking at the object*

Moi: Dah lah hitam. Blonde pula tu. Tak kena langsung.

Partner in Crime: Dah lah putih. Racist pula tu. Tak guna betul.

Moi: -.-"

Satisfaction

I have come to realize that sex and chocolate are not the only means to satisfy oneself.

Hardwork that bears the fruit of success guarantees equal satisfaction.

My Heartless Boyfriend

Yes boyfriend I tak macam boyfriend you, you, you dan you. Dia tak romantik langsung, doesn't know how to make me feel belonged and let alone sweet talk.

He calls me "awak" and I can only be addressed as "sayang" whenever he makes mistakes.

Yes I envy you you you dan you for having such lovable boyfriends. But one thing Superman possesses that most of your boyfriends don't is an assurance of a future together.

That is the ultimate reason I'm stuck with him for nearly a couple of years now.

*smile sighing*

Fights; Not Really a Superhero Style

Batman has been spreading words about Superman behind his back.

They both are really hating one another now. I didn't expect it's gonna get this worst. They barely know each other!

This has got to stop.

Duit

Let me clarify something.

Orang yang baru nak set up business tak ada banyak duit, sebab dia habiskan duit dia untuk establish business dia. In case you didn't get the idea.

Orang yang baru balik melancong pun tak ada banyak duit, sebab dia habiskan duit dia untuk vacation. In case you still didn't understand.

So stop asking to borrow money from any of those people.

Marriage

I'm beginning to lose faith in marriage. I find it to be somehow stringent, too confining and suffocating. Forget about fairy tales, dream weddings now.

Superman, on the other hand, has a different perception. He believes in everlasting relationship built on marriage institution. He believes in blessed relationship of two individuals in a legally tied knot.

I guess he needs to do a lot of convincing right now. And I can see his progress at present.

:)

Money Maker

I am friggin smart.

My brain is stimulated to money generating.

Pennyless?

Come to mama, baby.

Tips are all I can share.

Superb Liar

When you lie, please remember your lies.

Or else you're in a big trouble.

Or directly speaking; you suck.

Superman's Girlfriend is Super Lonely Because Superman is Super Busy

Superman has been busy lately. And I mean super busy.

And he leaves me feeling lonely most of the time.

If There's One Word I Need, The Word is Patience

Someday I would still have to leave.

Can't you foresee the repercussions then? Why are you still being complacent with the current circumstances and keep torturing me?

I'm not the only one with limbs. But most probably I am the only one with guts. Others may just don't have the balls, figuratively and literally.

And you, you are not only comfortable, but are also a cowardice. Coward enough to trust your own blood. And I, I have to bear the consequences.

SIGH.

Ubat Batuk Cap Ibu dan Anak

More often than not, a mother would think what she thinks is the best for the child. On the other hand, the child would have thought in contrary. And both would want to prove who's right.

When it is the case between a mother and her teenage daughter, I'm pretty sure that doesn't really matter. But when it involves a mother and her adult daughter, it always becomes a problem.

The daughter realizes there's a conflict of interest between two from different eras, and the mother feels strongly that her child should act according to her (the mom's) will.

Mothers can be very conservative. Because they want things flow their ways. When they don't, the blame is put on the children.

I don't know what kind of mother would I be.

As for now, I am going down under for real, and no one can object to it. Not even my mother.

Anak

Sejak akhir-akhir ini keinginan untuk mempunyai anak selepas berumah tangga nanti kian pudar. Ini berlaku setelah melihat realiti kepayahan membesarkan anak ditambah lagi dengan rintihan kenalan yang menjadi ibu bapa.

Kepudaran ini ditambah dengan perasaan anxiety yang tinggi dan self-esteem yang rendah. Tidak yakin dengan skill keibubapaan yang ada dalam diri. Can I even be a good mother to my future kids? If I were a mother what kind of mom would I be? Yang garang atau yang penyayang?

Takut. Serius takut. Dahlah I dah buat perjanjian dengan Superman yang semua najis-najis akan I yang cuci. Tak guna betul Superman. Awal-awal lagi dah pandai cari jalan keluar. Cis!

I takut membesarkan anak-anak dengan cara yang salah and in the end, the society will point its finger to me. All blames are put on my shoulder.

Na'uzubillah!

Superman kata jangan fikir banyak sangat. Anak itu anugerah Allah dan insya Allah akan murahkan rezeki kita. Well, itu boleh mengurangkan kerisauan sedikit.

Hmm, so can anyone convince me the blessing of having one's one child or share a joyous story of having one? Instead of bercerita tentang kepayahan membesarkan anak?

Tips to Become a Good Blogger

A celebrity blogger, whom I've been adoring for months is no longer my blogger idol.

Personally speaking, the trick to maintain your traffic feed daily is not to throw tantrum at your readers, and being emotional towards the sappy anonymous(es). Afterall, you can never have everyone agreeing with you. And you should never expect to be liked by all. Hence, the negative comments.

What you do is stay calm and respond professionally. It's best if you wish to ignore those comments entirely, should replying to them would only trigger more arguments.

What you shouldn't do is to make an entry condemning those people that you might regret later to the effect that you'd take it down. It's very unflattering to see after reading all your wise entries.

So, does anyone learn something today?

Hutang

Haihla manusia. Time bermesej tidak berintipati, laju je kau reply. Time mesej minta duit, tak berbalas pula. Time mesej minta pinjam wang, madah pujangga yang kau beri.

Now I want my damn money back!

What Happens in a Relationship, Stays in the Relationship

I know these aren't my bloody problems that really bother me at present, but I think it is wise for me to take an appropriate step to advise this certain group of emo Facebookers.

You see, we know there's ups and downs in relationships, be it with parents, children, spouses, boyfriends, friends, employers and whatnot. And we know to certain extend we can no longer tolerate with the misunderstandings and shortcomings.
However, you should never complain about it publicly especially at your Facebook status as everyone would have an access to have read that. Say you're the subject matter of the complaint; the mother- what do you think the readers might think of, reading such a ranting?

"Marah betul dengan parents aku ni. Janji lain, buat lain."

For heaven's sake, keep that to yourself, would you? Or your trusted buddy?

Paling tak boleh tahan bila gaduh dengan boyfriend/girlfriend, pergi letak di status, mencemuh sesama sendiri. This, I malas nak elaborate. Haish.

Sudah-sudahlah dengan your public whining. Cukuplah membuka pekung di dada sendiri, jangan jadikan Facebook tempat umpatan pula. Tak pasal-pasal orang lain kena baca sekali.

Hujan Emas Di Negara Orang

Since I was much younger, I had always wanted to study abroad. Especially in the West. Or Europe. Or negara mat saleh lah orang kita kata.

Mostly it was because I don't wanna work there, and building my life there. Thus, having a few years experience in overseas should suffice.

But that didn't happen as I ended up graduating from a local university, one of the best in Malaysia. Until then, I still have the urge to study elsewhere, anywhere but Malaysia, as for the postgraduate program.

Many things had occurred lately to the effect that my dreams and perception have changed. I don't think I would wanna leave my family and loved ones behind for years. Hence what I have in mind is to make a lot of money so that I'm able to travel anywhere I want with my earnings. The best part is I can tag them along.

Imagine going abroad without any worries. Imagine having a thick pocket while travelling. Imagine doing the things you want with your loved ones.

And I'm ensuring you that day will come. Because do I wanna be a gorgeous, hot looking billionaire some day. It's not either or, cause I am proving all.

Fira Satorini, Greece, I shall come and conquer you one day!

Resolusi Hari Jadi

Saya mahu jadi lebih positif, in the sense that I'm not going to make other people's problem as mine.

Lantaklah you nak tulis grammar broken or you nak jadi annoyingly corny in the public. Just don't over react.

Let they live the way they want. So long that it doesn't disrupt mine, why bother?

It serves much tranquility living without loathe and hatred. It feels more calming observing with peace.

So let's stop condemning and start loving. Or even if you can't, ignore.

Birthday Sayang

Superman: Why did you say I ruined your birthday night?

Moi: Ah, forget about last night. We both were being emotional. Especially me.

Superman: Happy birthday.

Moi: Thank you so much, sayang.

Superman: Thank you who?

Moi: Er, thank you so much, awak.

Superman: No no no. What did you say again?

Moi: Thank you so much, ayam!

Superman: Kok kokokokok!

Moi: *burst into laughter* I love you, sayang.

Superman: I love you too, cintaku.

Gender Bias

You're trying to say, because I am a damn girl, I have to be extra hardworking as compared to the boys in the house? What is this, a gender-bias?

Didn't I act enough like the sole man of the house already?

Let me be specific;
It's not okay for a girl to abandon what a girl should be doing though she has done everything that a guy should've been doing.
But it's totally okay for a guy to abandon what he is suppose to do because it has been taken over by a girl.

Conclusion: Girl must do everything. Boy can do nothing.

NICE!

Bukan berkira ke apa, but isn't the bias-ness getting too obvious from day to day?

Now you are calling me what? A superhero?

I am NOT! I'm just a girlfriend.

His Boring Girlfriend

Moi: Don't you find me boring?

Superman: No, why?

Moi: Because I don't listen to music like you, nor do I enjoy going to cinemas. I'm not like many girls out there. I sit at home reading and writing and thinking.

Suoerman: Yup, you sure do. That's why I love you so much.

Moi: Really?

Superman: :)

Seksi Sopan

Kalau perempuan pakai baju seksi, itu tidak sopan.

Kalau lelaki pakai seluar sengaja menampakkan boxer, itu apa?

Telur Goreng

I bukan sengaja nak tunjuk kuat ke apa. Masalahnya, kalau I nak jadi lembik sebab sakit pun, tak ada manusia yang sepatutnya peduli dan ambil tindakan, peduli dan ambil tindakan.

I ni satu-satunya anak perempuan, tapi yang lelaki-lelaki semua tak bertanggung jawab aje. I am almost swearing right now I tell you.

Time dia orang sakit I bawa pergi klinik, time I sakit, I pun bawa diri I sendiri.

Bukan nak berkira ke apa, tapi dia orang tu dah hilang sense of responsibility ke?

Kalau nak bermanja ke nak lembik-lembik ketika sakit ke, I akan tunggu boyfriend I ada. Masa tu baru rasa macam ada adik beradik lelaki.

And for your information, I am NOT the eldest.

Shocking, huh?

Luck

Usually when someone wishes me luck for my exam, I'd respond;

"I need no luck. I just need a pen and a brain."

But in the end I realized I really, badly need that damn luck.

*sigh*

"Dah Kata Dah"

No, seriously. You don't want to hear me saying those words. It's a bad sign afterall.

Don't you ever let me utter them.

Technology Kills

Blackberry is one capital offender under s. 300 of the Penal Code and punishable under s. 302.

He murdered my love for books and reading ruthlessly.

Now I no longer carry a book to bed, not to the loo. I'd be online from this small screen nights and days leaving my stacks of books elsewhere.

And guess what?

Currently I'm standing in my pink bathroom making this entry.

Where are my books again?

Secularism

This is funny.

I am being called secular for a humble political opinion I made.

I must have been oblivious or something. So tell me politely which part did I say wrong?

I'm No Dumb. I'm Just Numb

I may be vibrant and cheerful, but I'm no talkative. I only talk when it's necessary. But at times, though the situation requires me to speak, I'd still become numb.

I don't hell know where has the friendly me gone. It has been my resolution each year since I was 9 to be less talkative and now I believe God has granted my yearly wish. Heh.

By talkative, I strictly confine the meaning to being friendly and able to create a warm and comfortable conversation, and relationship for that matter.

The change doesn't bring much benefit, I'd dare to say, especially when I am faced with the future in-laws. I was ultimately quiet, probably because I didn't know what to say, act and ask. Probably because Superman has shared many stories about his family beforehand.

Sheesh. Now I have this peculiar feeling that the future in-laws don't quite fancy my attitude. They must've thought I am one snobbish brat from the city.

On the other hand, his little sister was extremely pretty and warm and is getting married in a couple of months time!!!

What am I thinking now, seriously?

Rambut Panjang Mayang Mengurai

Perihalnya begini.

Kalau I berambut panjang maksudnya I sedang berboyfriend at that particular time. Ini kerana I pun tak tahu mengapa nasib I mendapat boyfriend yang suka gadis mereka berambut panjang. Barangkali rambut hitam dan ikal yang beralun I yang cantik ini menjadi faktor utama mereka menyuruh I menyimpan rambut.

Tidak. I bukan tunduk pada telunjuk boyfriend, bahkan, dalam sesuatu hubungan, I akan menjadi lebih controlling dalam segenap sudut. Tapi at times kita kena compromise, mencantikkan diri kepada bakal suami (insya Allah) supaya mereka tak cari lain.

Hakikatnya I lebih gemar berambut pendek. Senang dijaga. Tak perlu fikir nak beli pengikat rambut ataupun sepit rambut. Kalau travel pula tak perlu risau rambut basah dan masam dan sebagainya.

Tapi, ada twistnya di sini. Sekiranya I dilihat berambut pendek dalam masa terdekat ini, maksudnya ada seorang gadis cantik sedang bergaduh besar dan memberontak dengan boyfriendnya.

Sekian, harap maklum.

Girlfriend Yang Pembersih

I seorang manusia yang agak hygiene-conscious. Atau dalam istilah lain, hygienic (Kenapa blogger gariskan perkataan itu? Adakah kerana ia tidak wujud? Adakah kerana I salah eja?)

I mesti memberus gigi, mencuci muka dan membawa hand sanitizer (perkataan ini pun digariskan) ke mana-mana.

Tapi malam tadi I terlalu letih dan tertidur awal. Jadi I terlupa gosok gigi dan cuci muka.

Pagi-pagi tadi I bangun tidur menangis kerana mimpi gigi I semua dah rongak.

:'(

Skema Turutan Kasih Sayang

Kadang-kadang, kita semacam terikat dengan satu jawapan tradisi, yang mana kiranya kita tidak menjawab mengikut skema, kita dianggap tidak mengenang budi dan segala tohmahan akan diperdendang di telinga sendiri.

I was talking about the sequence of the persons you love most in life. Jawapan paling common sekali yang memberi satu guarantee you tak akan jadi outcast ialah:

1) Parents
2) Keluarga
3) Kekasih

Kalau you tak ikut skema jawapan, you anak derhaka, you buta dek cinta dan sebagainya.

Walhal hari-hari update status pasal rindukan *boyfriend/girlfriend. Sikit-sikit *boyfriend/girlfriend, sikit-sikit *boyfriend/girlfriend.

Lepas tu, kalau parents marah sebab asyik gayut sampai bil melambung, you merajuk, hempas pintu.

Kalau parents suruh putuskan hubungan sebab tak berkenan, lari dari rumah pergi kahwin di Siam.

Now you tell me, who's your number one really?


*potong yang tidak berkenaan

My Mum Is An Annoying Customer

And thank god I don't have any business deal with her.

Kaya Itu Berdosa, Miskin Itu Bersyukur

I don't know what has gotten into some people. They made striving to attain success in life (or directly speaking; berusaha untuk mengumpul kekayaan) sounds like a big sin.

You don't have to tell me about syukur. I am content with what I am having at present. But why is it so wrong if I say my dreams are to drive my own Jaguar S-type and Audi Q5, to own a mansion in Mont Kiara, to travel around the world with future hubby and to own a foundation for those having kidney complications?


They made it sound so wrong for having such desires, and the steps taken to fulfill them. 


You see, different people aim different things in life. Those things pre-exist in different fields. Some people wish to succeed politically, to be the next Prime Minister of Malaysia, and by whatever means, whether they'd have to play dirty or not.


To some, success means becoming a Doctor of Philosophy. Academic success is their objective of life.


But to me, success means being wealthy. Doesn't mean the other aspects of life including the here-after are left behind. They work in parallel. If you don't get His barakah, how on earth are you going to achieve your goal?

People are skeptical about being rich. To them rich people are bad, they aren't religious, they drink, they party and whatnot. To them poor people are pious, they perform solah all the times, the wajib and the sunnah, they're classified as "golongan yang bersyukur dengan nikmat Allah."

Those who perceive that way are those who haven't had the taste of wealth. Tahu ke mereka dengan kekayaan yang ada pahala kau akan lagi banyak? You can sedekah more, you can perform umrah annually, you can exercise all the good deeds without having to worry of other things like not enough food to feed your family.

I am disgusted with this kind of mentality. Sebab mindset yang kebanyakan orang Melayu, Islam ni peganglah, ramai budak-budak kecil yang berdiri tepi bank sana-sini minta derma kebajikan untuk masjidlah, sekolahlah dan sebagainya. Why don't I see beggars (oh, or what they term as "donation collector") asking money to build church, temples or a convent school?

Sebab tulah most of the times the non-Muslims perceive Muslims as being extremists but poor.

I'm not letting that kind of mentality spread in the community anymore. And for that matter, I am going to start with a change.

Pingat Emas Untuk Anda

Dengan sesetengah orang ni, buang masa saja you ajak berdebat. Sebab in the end, semua orang tahu dia masih ingin menang.

So what you do is you bagi what they want; the winning trophy.

I ni baran, dan in certain instances, I tergolong juga dalam kategori di atas.

Tapi lately I telah belajar something yang diperturunkan secara indirect oleh Superman; yakni "Ego malas nak layan". So kalau I dispute dengan seseorang tentang sesuatu, I akan diam dan biarkan dia rasa dia menang dengan hujahnya. Or I akan buat jenaka intelek I untuk meredakan keadaan.

Rupanya jadi malas nak layan is way more fun than throwing tantrum.

Lagipun, siapa dia untuk I provekan point I pun? Lebih baik I reserve energy and my time for a good cause.

Some People Term Is As "Harsh", I Call It "Honest"

I think I'm getting the old spirit back. The old me who was so loud and cynical, who doesn't give a shit of what people think of her.

*

Yesterday I bombarded a friend who wrote a hopelessly romantic status on Facebook. It was a sight pollution that might jeopardize the eyes and the mind. She is in a habit to write stuffs about her love and her unknown boyfriend and melodramatic lyrics and all those corny stuffs.

And I nonchalantly wrote;

"Why do you keep writing such a cheesy stuff like this? Why not write one productive sentence?"

But I ended my "harsh" comment with this: ":P" - so that it would neutralize the mood all together.

She took no offense I could tell, from the joyous reply I received.

Just now, I commented on a status that more or less reads as follows;

"_______ (fill in the blanks with your favourite name), when are we suppose to surrender our assignment?"

And I said;

"Why not ask her at her own wall instead of writing it on your status? Unless if you want others to answer as well."

Make use of the Status column wisely. Remember, Facebook is a social networking website. Others may get the access to your privacy very easily if you're not careful enough. If you have a personal inquiry, utilize the private message. It's equally handy though!

*

But trust me, this won't last long. Wait until the next personal attack, I'd return to being passive and reserved.

If You Love Someone, Let Him Free

Now I know why we aren't compatible as a couple.

Simple. I can't fit into his surroundings, and he seems hesitant to fit in with mine.

His friends and family dislike me, and vice versa.

It feels awkward being with him. It's like transforming into another individual.

It's hard to deny there's still love, nonetheless. Perhaps the memories that bond us together. Perhaps the so-called love itself. We were isolated in our very own world when being together. That is almost similar to declining the existence of the universe. That, rationally, isn't good for our long term undertakings.

Now I think I understand why people keep saying "if you love someone, let him free." I really do. So long he attains the happiness he seeks in life, I'd be more than pleased for him.

Don't Curse, You Damn It!

I'm presently teaching and encouraging my 7-year-old nephew who doesn't speak Malay not to curse.

Don't correct your eyes. I wrote everything correctly.

I told him, it's not nice to say "What the hell."

And instead of saying "Oh, shit!", why not say "Oh, God!"

Tell you what, my technique all works!

One day I took him to the nearest KFC, and on our way there was a stupid car doing something idiotic I couldn't recall on road. So I get pissed and said;

"Fuck! Bodoh!"

"What did you say, Auntie?"

"Oh, I said, er, duck hodoh."

"What's hodoh?"

"Hodoh means ugly. So I was saying that duck was ugly."

"But I didn't see any duck just now?"

Great. Now I am being an angelic aunt and a big fat liar at the same time. How bad can that be?

I Wanna Go Down Under

...And by whatever means I shall materialize my desire.

Exercise Freak

Superman has started with a new routine. He is now a regular gym customer in his hometown. This began a couple of weeks ago.

I know he has been a health freak. Eh, no no no. He's been obsessed about having a nice body. Each morning he'd be doing push-ups and sit-ups. Dari seorang cicak kobeng he is now a very, well, quite fit guy.

His new routine kinda worry me a bit. You know people say when you stop working out your body will be flabby and whatnot. And I don't really go with the idea of having a perfect body shape.

So yes, I don't work out. But I do care about body shapes. Jaga pemakanan, waktu makan and ample execises sudah lah. Tak perlu sampai ke gym. Nanti I akan rasa intimidated gila dengan badannya.

Haish. But who am I to stop his passion?

Couple Tee

Little bro: Belilah couple Tee tu.

Moi: Means kena beli sepasang?

Little bro: Yup. Murah je.

Moi: Kalau macam tu, lagi sehelai nak bagi siapa.

Little bro: Superman.

Moi: Wow, kenapa dia?

Little bro: Sebab korang kapel.

Moi: Oh!

Youth

Young girls are exasperating.

The younger ones are more annoying.

Satu Hati Dua Lelaki

You want me to be frank? Let me frank with you now, baby.

Love? I ain't sure.

Necessity is more like it.

I have no doubt I'm in need of you both badly, spiritually, in life. You light my life and give me new dimensions of it. When one of you makes me somber, I'd turn to the other.

Back up? No, I'm pretty sure.

Complimentary is more like it.

Each of you possesses the qualities I had always wanted in a guy. One has the feature the other does not. Like I've said, it's complimentary.

Both are entirely different entities, but never fail to please me at the most crucial times.

You ever thought of hurting me? Hurting my feeling?

Go ahead and screw me.

'Cause why? 'Cause I have another one.

Again, it's not a back up plan. You guys compliment one another, in the most complicated way anyone could ever imagine!

No no no. Don't call me bit*ch.

Falling for two different men at the same time ain't bit*ch.

Afterall love is this complicated. *sigh*

Test Market

I bukan jenis perempuan yang suka test market.

Test market; if you understand what I meant.

Dalam erti kata lain, test market sendiri merupakan cara paling vain untuk mengetahui bahawa kita masih hot atau disukai ramai.

Lelaki mesej nak berkenalan? Layan~

Letak gambar comel-comel di Facebook dan mengharapkan komen yang berbunyi "Cantiklah awak ni" atau "Comelnya dia!"?

Gemar dengan mesej yang berbunyi "Tak ada sesiapa ke marah I mesej dengan you ni?", dan bila dibalas "Tiada", mengharapkan respond seperti "Takkanlah orang cantik macam you ni tak berpunya lagi kot."?

Suka di-flirt ketika berjalan di KLCC?

If any of the above instances fits you, then you indeed suka test market diri sendiri.

How do I know? Sebab I pun pernah suka juga benda-benda macam ni. But that was long ago. Zaman belum jumpa boyfriend nombor 7. Zaman gemuk gedempol dulu.

Now I realised that there are many other important things in life we need to be worry about other than how hot we still are.

Sebab tu lelaki selalu kata I garang dan semakin tak ramai yang berani bagi pick up line pada I.

I know I'm still hot regardless. It's too obvious.

My Boring Boyfriend

Superman is a real boring boyfriend. He is very serious and most of the times would act like a strict brother to me. He would decline to every invitation I made to do anything insane. And each time he'd be getting a straightforward remarks from me;

"Awak ni tak fun lah!"

He would laugh over mundane and repeated jokes like Mr. Bean's. Whenever he thinks something is funny, he would share the same, old, boring antic over and over again.

I, on the other hand am very humourous. Well, I think so. I consider my jokes are all intellectually acceptable (haha!). I'd roll my eyes upon coming across lame attempt on being funny. I hardly laugh whenever I think something isn't funny enough or isn't up to my standard. I'd smirk instead. That's mostly because I don't fake expressions, remember?

I still love my boring and serious boyfriend, nonetheless. Now I do believe that opposite attracts.

Kaum Hawa Sememangnya Mempunyai Eksesif Estrogen

Terdapat banyak kes penggunaan gambar dan profil individu lain di Facebook yang melibatkan pencurian gambar manusia-manusia dalam friends list saya. Walaupun masih boleh dibilang menggunakan jari, pada hemat saya, kes-kes sebigini sudah dikategorikan kritikal juga.

Apakah tujuan sebenar mencuri identiti orang lain dengan tujuan membukan akaun Facebook ataupun Myspace sendiri? Mungkinkan mereka merupakan ajen CIA?

Apa yang saya ingin cungkil di sini bukanlah kajian terhadap those freaks yang mempunyai tahap self-esteem yang rendah ini, namun, reaksi yang diperoleh daripada mangsa-mangsa kecurian identiti berkenaan. Ia boleh dilihat secara terus melalui status mereka.

Anak Gadis Ruslan

"Tak guna punya setan! Apesal kau curi gambar-gambar aku hah dan letakkan di akaun Myspace engkau! Kau dah cukup lama ke hidup kat dunia ni hah?!"


Anak Gadis Ahmad

"Eee I bencilah bi*tch mana yang mencuri gambar I dan membuka akaun Facebook sendiri itu! Kepada rakan-rakan I semua, tolong jangan add bi*tch berkenaan ya!"


Anak Teruna (kot?) Jaafar

"Siapa pula mamat Putra Kayangan ni? Kenapa nak ambil gambar aku jadi profile photo? Handsome sangatkah aku? Tiba-tiba pula rasa macam artis. Kahkahkah."



Konklusi: Perempuan memang sangat emo, kan?

Buy Only What You Need

As compared to many other women out there, I am actually quite thrifty when it comes to shopping.

I don't see the reason to be so overwhelmed with lusts and desire to purchase stuffs you don't need. You have 8237 pairs of shoes at home, why need more? Because the piece you're looking at now is cute? But is it worth it? When are you going to put on all 8237 (or now 8238) pairs in life?

So ladies, when shopping, be rational and practical, ask yourself do you really need the purse you're holding? Or the summer dress and legging? Don't be fooled by the discounts here and there, should in the end you would sit alone, feeling regret.

Buy only what you need.

Rock A Bye Baby On The Tree Top

I'm not fond of babies. Nor a toddler. And so as small kids.

I bukan macam sesetengah gadis yang excited melihat bayi kecil lantas bermain-main dengan mereka. I akan bermuka garang dan buat tak endah sahaja.

Bukanlah. I bukan tak suka mereka. Please re-read my statements. I'm just not so fond of them.

I know they're cute little creatures, tapi tak ada pula nafsu untuk bermain dengan mereka.

Dan ramai yang maklum bahawa I tak reti fake my expressions. Kalau tak suka tu, memang obvious tak boleh blah muka I. Kalau sangat thrilled, akan terpancar di wajah rahsia hati ini.

Tapi di suatu petang Jumaat di rumah bakal mentua, I dihadapkan dengan anak saudara Superman.

"Ololo Mya sayang! Comelnya olololo."

Fake can be faked.

Status Update

Anak Encik Othman 

today..no time for fb...got something urgent to settle...^_^

Comments:

Moi

wow!

Anak Encik Othman

apa yang wow nya kak?

<manusia-manusia lain juga berbalas comment dengan Anak Encik Othman>

Moi

Eh? Tadi kata no time for FB?

Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover

I am prejudice. I am somehow skeptical towards certain class of people who seem smart from the outside, but nothing in the inside.

I am prejudice. I judge people based on the way the talk or communicate. The language used, as well as their content point. This determines their IQ level as per my standard.

Jadi sekarang, I tak peduli sama ada you merupakan seorang Doktor Falsafah mahupun tidak, sekiranya cara komunikasi you tidak mencapai tahap piawaian I, you're still zero in my eyes.

Ada ke patut I dapat mesej sebegini:

"T sy msg n awk lik ye."

Translated as (I suppose): Nanti saya mesejkan awak balik ye.

Haish.

A Not So Great Welcoming Entry, Huh?

Ironically speaking, I am suddenly thinking of Batman, my ex-boyfriend who is currently somewhere abroad. Hurm! No wonder he called yesterday evening. I've totally forgotten he'd be away today.