Antidote

Thought I've found an antidote. It turns out to be a mere painkiller.

The cancer now spreads again. The kind of disease I don't mind suffering from.

Saya Sudah Hilang Taring

Baby, you're right. Well, partly.

I ain't week when it comes to love.

I'm only week when it's about you.


Kenapa susah sangat macam ni? Sedihnya.

I want to grow old with you and practise all stupid rituals daily.

Jangan Pergi Dengan Orang Lain

"OMG awak! Bestnya makan dekat sini! Kenapa kita tak tahu tentang kewujudan tempat makan ni?"

"Sebenarnya kita dah lama nak bawa awak makan kat sini masa kita couple dulu. Tapi tak sempat... sebab kita dah..."

"...dah break up?"

*both burst into laughter*

"Tapi awak kena janji, awak tak boleh datang makan dengan Superman kat sini."

Oh?


*

"Awak, jom pergi bungee jumping!"

"Kat Malaysia ni ada bungee jumping ke?"

"Ada."

"Kat mana?"

"Tak boleh bagitahu. Nanti awak pergi dengan Superman. Kalau nak pergi, pergi dengan kita saja."

Singkapan Kisah Semalam

"Kalau suatu hari nanti kita ditakdirkan untuk tidak bersama, kita mesti curang terhadap pasangan kita. Sekurang-kurangnya, curang hati. Sebab cinta kita, hanya untuk awak seorang."

-2004

Tell me about it, my love. After years of separation, parts of my heart are still held close to yours. It's hard to stop loving.

And now you're making it even harder. I wish you didn't tell me that you wanted me back. I wish you were as ruthless as before, that it's easier to stop caring anymore. But you've changed over time. And I wish you're less caring than before. But that, has never changed in you.

I wish life isn't this hard. I'm sorry, but I do still love you... dearly.

Chickenshit

The truth is I'm a chickenshit.

I am coward enough to face the things I dread facing. Like reminiscing the old days with the gone ones. Like being told off with what I've done wrong. Like listening to remarks people make about me. Like watching a sad ending movie. Like reading about the life in the hereafter.

I just hate being vulnerable and letting myself being overwhelmed with vulnerability.

In short, I am a cowardice. I don't have enough guts to hurt my own self.

A Zero Master

Previously I used to admire and idolise those with Master Degree and Doctorate. But I perceive differently today.

Pardon me but I no longer see these holders as intellectual enough nowadays. Firstly, anyone with money can pursue their higher education be it domestically or abroad. I have friends whose results are as average as mine now undergoing their postgrad studies in Europe. Because they have the means to.

Secondly, some people are book smart per se. They suck in interpersonal skill, they have zero general knowledge, they're lousy at public speaking or at least making a good speech, their English proficiency is below average and the list goes on. From what I see, that makes you a post graduate with nothing but a piece of certificate. Not to mention having no ability to write their thesis well. You either hire people to write for you or, the most popular method; plagiarism.

I've been to a convention with around 40 other post graduate students whom on surface at a glance, didn't look like one (except for some). Second, they were as quiet as a stone during the seminars most probably due to their weak English mastery or they're just as lame. Some even snored during the session! You could see the same persons repeatedly asked questions and that includes me!

I could also see they even baby talk in Facebook. Something I didn't see coming from a 25-year-old master student. In my view, some of these people decided to pursue with such degree because they had nothing else to do, or they don't know what else to do, because they think that they don't even deserve to be working for their oh-so-many-flaws.

Just so you know, I didn't do my master by choice. Because I know my direction. And most importantly, I know the fact that I'm so much better than the abovementioned persons.